Spirit Guide

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Tall and powerful — Buff and Brave
His long dark hair was wrapped in braids
Met him a past life
Could have been his wife
In a different time.

He came back beyond the grave
Gonna make me his mental slave
And everything he says
About UFOs and Elvis
Is completely true.

CHORUS

Indian Spirit Guide
Wrapped in a buffalo hide
The medicine wheels spin in my brain
Are the Indians all dead
Except the one in my head?
I thank God for my Indian Guide

Tried to channel with tarot cards
Spent the convergence in my back yard
My spirit guide knows best
I put him to the test
And he came through

You look Indian — tell me how
Where’s the sweat or the next pow-wow?
Although my skin is pale
I’ve got an Indian tale
I can tell

CHORUS

Written by Arigon Starr
©1997 Starrwatcher Publishing (ASCAP)
Lyrics reprinted by kind permission.

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ABOUT “SPIRIT GUIDE”

“You Indians are SO spiritual,” they cry.

Who are they?

The heaving throng of well-meaning new-age devotees who congregate at new age book stores or conference, elbowing each other out of the way in search of enlightenment.

These activities aren’t unique to Los Angeles — it’s a worldwide phenomena.

The worst offenders are the people who were “Indian in a past life.”

It’s really no good being an Indian today — only those sage warriors from the past will do for these folks. Unless, of course, you’re selling spirituality. Perhaps by leading a special three-day vision quest retreat weekend, complete with Sun Dance, massage and spa cuisine,” said the Diva.

“Many suspect types have asked me if “Doo Doo Heya Heya” is a real chant. I always say, ‘Sure! An Indian made it up!,” laughed Arigon. “Sometimes I tell folks the chant was created by the Motown Tribe of Detroit, Michigan.”

One of the cheesiest sites we’ve seen lately is a guy who “channels” Chief Joseph. Yes, that’s right — leader of the Wallowa band of Nez Perce Indians. After welcoming settlers to his beautiful valley, he was asked to vacate to another location to accommodate the newcomers. A skillful negotiator for his people, he bought the tribe a little time, but was eventually exiled to the Colville Reservation and reportedly died from a broken heart. And now….you can ask him questions and for words of wisdom from the great beyond! Yippee! Guess what — he speaks real *goot* English. AAAY!

You will REALLY enjoy this page about cultural appropriation involving Native American Tarot decks. Hey, this stuff is real, man. We ain’t making it up!